Let me tell you about the hermit crab races

"On Thursday nights they have hermit crab races," said Captain Randy. He was talking about the Crows Nest at the Tween Waters Island Resort on Captiva Island. Russ and I aren't big on those "force fun" kind of events so we weren't particularly interested, especially after a long twelve hour day of boating. We'd been up since 4:30 am, rolled in at 6:30 (in the dark), and hadn't eaten since noon. We were hungry, tired, and not in the hermit crab racing mood. But it was the easiest place to get to from the boat, so off we went.

Participation isn't mandatory, but the event is smack in the middle of the place and well underway. The race was little more than dumping the crabs in the middle of a round table, then cheering for them as they scampered every which way until they reached the edge, where participant had to catch them. Apparently, this was the family version (there's another round of crab races for adults only later in the night), so families crammed around the table while the MC, Sunburned Willie, taught them the rules. Things like, "don't touch the crabs until they cross the finish line", and "every claw, pincer, leg, and part of the shell has to be over the line to be called 'finished'", and "don't be banging on the table 'cause that will just scare the crabs into thinking there's an earthquake", and "don't blow or whistle on them 'cause that makes them think there's a hurricane" and, most importantly, "for god sake, people, don't take this seriously because it's a flippin' hermit crab race!" 

We hadn't laughed so hard in a long time. Sunburned Willie was incredibly witty and sharp as a tack. Armed with crabs, kazoos, and a spray bottle (which is liberally used on misbehaving parents) Willie put on a wonderful show. I can't recommend it enough.

No pictures, though, since they weren't allowed. You'll just have to go. Or watch this YouTube I found: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WHgHaxMtou4